September 27, 2014

The Greatest Gif Ever

      A few years ago, my friends and I used to record everything we did all the time. This was the result of quite perhaps the greatest moment of all time. We were all just messing with a football/ swinging on swings/ recording for some reason, when our friend Adrian out of nowhere kicked a football straight at my brother, Ben's, face. Roll the clip:

You must watch the entire video to let the humor sink in, which you can find here.

(BTW I'm the one on the right swing)

September 26, 2014

"The Crew" Page #3

WARNING: The Following is a Continuing Story Arc, And May End in a Cliffhanger:

He repeated this several times. I kinda lost interest, and totally zoned out. I started thinking about the thing that I ever thought about.
Her name was Brooklyn. She came to Cloverdale only months ago and I was already completely obsessed with her. Her blonde hair glowed in the dark hallways of the quad. Her freckles were like the stars on the beautiful night sky that was her face. Her eyes were an emerald gr-
“Jack, are you even listening?”
“Umm yea, weird Latin words and stuff right?”
“Yeah… so look over there,” he said, pointing behind me.
What was he pointing at? All I could see was the oak.
“What is it?”
“Just keep watching…”
I kept looking at the old oak until the leaves started rustling in the wind. Out popped the fuzzy little head of the acorn’s natural enemy: the squirrel.
“That’s just a coincidence…” I said in awe.
“The fifth coincidence in a row? This isn’t the first time I tried this spell out.”
I remained silent, just watching the squirrel.
“Luke and I are making an army. Meet us after school at the park.”
I don’t know how long Buck was still with me after that sentence. I was just watching the squirrel. That squirrel was a product of magic, and real magic too, not like a white rabbit out of a dollar store hat. This squirrel was the white rabbit and Buck was the dorky magician.
As I stared at that squirrel, I realized what Buck had said; an army? Luke? Park after school? So many questions were racing through my mind, like how did Buck spawn a freaking squirrel, and an army for what?? And how did Buck find this website?? So many secrets, so much importanc-


Ah crap; math class…

September 25, 2014

"The Crew" Page #2

WARNING: The Following is a Continuing Story Arc, And May End in a Cliffhanger:

“Why were you Googling magic?”
“Not important. What is important is what I found: there’s this website called”
“Why is that important?”
“It’s a website that has spells and potions and shit! We can be magicians!”
“First off, magicians are lame; wizards are where it’s at. Secondly, you can’t believe anything you read on the internet.”
By the way, this is based on a true story.
“No seriously, check this out!” Buck said, reaching into his tattered back pack. He pulled out a binder that read: Spell Book. It was rather empty, only having about 5 pieces of paper in it.
“What’s that?”
“This is what I call: The Spell Book…”
As he lifted up the binder, the glitter glue sparkled in the light of the sun.
“What the hell is that?”
“This, my boy, is The Spell Bo-“
“Yea but what is it?” I interrupted.
“Well I knew you’d be skeptical so I went ahead and printed out a few spells and made my math binder into this Spell Book.”
“What about your math binder?”
“Hmmm… Don’t care. Anyways, would you like to see me spawn fire or spawn a woodland creature?”
“Well seeing as though we are at school and are surrounded by a hundred kids, I would kinda prefer a squirrel over the death of many.”

“Okee dokee, behold!” he said, as he flipped through the Spell Book. He started to read some Latin sounding gibberish that went something like this:
“Inamabilis sciurus loqui maleficis” 

September 23, 2014

"The Crew" Introduction

The Crew: a tale of four cowardly heroes and their sort-of fantastical quest in their small hometown of Cloverdale, California. This story was actually based off of my experience with "magic" and "dragons," along side my two best friends (and twin brother). Get ready for the kind of true story of our exploits as...

"The Crew" Page #1

WARNING: The Following is a Continuing Story Arc, And May End in a Cliffhanger:

The day was January 30, the day that Buck asked me the question.
“Hey Jack, do you believe in dragons?”
What the hell? Do I believe in dragons? I was just sitting on the bench under the old oak, just like I did every recess. Buck was never in sight unless I wanted him to be. He was always coming up with these schemes that almost never worked. Our almost constant victim was my second best friend, Brandon Dawson. Actually, to be fair, Buck and Brandon were tied for second. My real best friend was Anthony Martensen, but he’s not important… and by that I mean to the story! He’s very important in his own way!

“Do I believe in dragons?” I repeated.
“It depends on what kind, like Wyverns or what? It really depends on the kind of dragon you're referring to. ”
“Like any kind.”
“Then no. Can’t say I believe in any kind of dragon. Why?”
“Oh, no reason.”
Whenever he said this, he would always be trying to get my attention. It never worked though. I would just simply ignore this tactic.
“What is it??” I cracked like 2 seconds after his tactic… It’s a great tactic.
“Well I was just searching the web a couple of days ago and found something interesting…”
He was very intriguing when he wanted to be.
“What did you find?” I asked, desperately hoping he wouldn’t say porn.

“Well I was Googling magic and found something pretty cool.”